In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
