I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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