i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
