My hand turned me down
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
