He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
