their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
