PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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