Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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