i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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