i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
this hospital has no fireball
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
