i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
