Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
