How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
