Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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