That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
