my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
