I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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