and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
