i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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