Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
