It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
