dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
