I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
