if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
