My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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