cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your penis caused this!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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