benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
