it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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