She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
