He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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