nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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