i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I currently don't understand fingers.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
