I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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