The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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