dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
