Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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