Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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