So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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