I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
