Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
