My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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