Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
