can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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