you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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