i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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