Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
