I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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