the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
