I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
