seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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