ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
