after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you win again, gameday.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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