Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
