i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
